"Jesus is a friend who knows all your faults and still loves you any way"
Sunday, June 14, 2009
She's Back!!!
I’d just started collecting comic books at 12 years of age back 1978. I didn’t read them, just collected them. My buddies were hard core collectors and basically I just wanted to fake it and kick it. I wasn’t very at faking it nor kicking it, I being the “fag” “sissy” and “teenage brownie” I was for the most part tolerated. However, when the real talk of comics was discussed I was pretty much treated like, Prissy, from Gone With The Wind, or perhaps, truer to that era, Like Chrissie Snow, from Three’s Company. I didn’t mind, I just like being around my handful of
geeky/nerdy friends, of which obviously, I was the “un-cool” one. As I stated, I wasn’t really into the books, mainly they were composed of hyper-masculine qualities that teens, geeks, nerds, and grown-up kids liked to imagine possessing. super powered beings in worlds, they controlled, amongst populations that bowed down to, depended upon, and worshipped- shit nearly orgasmic in catering to youth and adolescent male fantasies. Simply put, Thor, Hulk, Captain America, Iron man and the like, were a bit too butch for me! However, in the midst of all of this male bonding and testosterone, emerged the most unlikely of super heroes, Jessica Drew, Spiderwoman.
Jessica Drew indeed, fore, like Super man’s Clark Kent and Spiderman’s Peter Parker, Spiderwoman is equally known by her alias. To put it simply, Spiderwoman was a mess. The book had changed directions, editors, writers, storylines at least a dozen times and she was only on her 13th issue! The book was one of (if not the) lowest selling of it on-going series and I fell in love with her, well both, Jessica Drew and her alter-ego. It was the first non-funnies comic book I read from page to page and I was hooked. First off, it was the first super-heroine comic I’d ever read. I was familiar with Wonder Woman, Isis, even Marvel Comics very own, “The Cat” and her cult following, and of course the numerous female super heroes who didn’t have their own on-going series. Spiderwoman proved to be a book/superhero I could call my own.
I dutiful anticipated and read and re-read her every issue. I promptly went out and purchased her back issues, and comic book tie-ins and appearances. I couldn’t get enough. The writers, editors, artists, and direction continues to changed and I was loyal until the end of her 50 issue run. The appeal for Jess, for me, no doubt had to do with her outsider status and the “little-train-that-could” run. You see just about from the very first episode on, Jess, was close to cancellation. Every monthly and eventually bi-monthly issue was, for me, a testament toward sheer will power and determination. Almost a sort of, if she can do it- bounce back and beat the outcome of other failed female marvel comics, it she could persevere, so could I! melodramatic perhaps, but hey, what do you expect from a teenage queer living in “Da Hood” during the hey-day of NWA, Boys in the Hood, Dickies, and Gangster rap. Spiderwoman and indeed, until cancellation, her run was a testament that despite being different, “misunderstood,” lost, confused, and a misfit, if you hang in there. You can make it! Hey, cut me some slack, I didn’t even have Oprah!
Well, after stints with various super groups, Avengers, X-men, Shield, a critically acclaimed and popular team up between Jessica Drew and Wolverine, and the much Herald Mike Bendis re-launch my girl IS BACK in all her mysterious ass-kicking glory! Welcome back, Girl. Let the ass kicking begin.
Prayer
Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that your hand would be with me, and that you would keep me from evil.Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Why Love Black Men?
Beautiful Black Men(With compliments and apologies to all not mentioned by name)
by Nikki Giovanni
by Nikki Giovanni
i wanta say just gotta say something
bout those beautiful beautiful beautiful outasight
black men
with they afros
walking down the street
is the same ol danger
but a brand new pleasure
sitting on stoops, in bars, going to offices
running numbers, watching for their whores
preaching in churches, driving their hogs
walking their dogs, winking at me
in their fire red, lime green, burnt orange
royal blue tight tight pants that hug
what i like to hug
jerry butler, wilson pickett, the impressions
temptations, mighty mighty sly
don't have to do anything but walk
on stage
and i scream and stamp and shout
see new breed men in breed alls
dashiki suits with shirts that match
the lining that compliments the ties
that smile at the sandals
where dirty toes peek at me
and i scream and stamp and shout
for more beautiful beautiful beautiful
black men with outasight afros
bout those beautiful beautiful beautiful outasight
black men
with they afros
walking down the street
is the same ol danger
but a brand new pleasure
sitting on stoops, in bars, going to offices
running numbers, watching for their whores
preaching in churches, driving their hogs
walking their dogs, winking at me
in their fire red, lime green, burnt orange
royal blue tight tight pants that hug
what i like to hug
jerry butler, wilson pickett, the impressions
temptations, mighty mighty sly
don't have to do anything but walk
on stage
and i scream and stamp and shout
see new breed men in breed alls
dashiki suits with shirts that match
the lining that compliments the ties
that smile at the sandals
where dirty toes peek at me
and i scream and stamp and shout
for more beautiful beautiful beautiful
black men with outasight afros
Nikki Giovanni, “Beautiful Black Men” from The Selected Poems of Nikki Giovanni. Copyright © 1996 by Nikki Giovanni. Reprinted with the permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. Source: The Selected Poems of Nikki Giovanni (1996)
Clip Of The Day
and speaking of Bernie Mac...
Normally I offer y'all a gospel music clip but in honor of legends of comedy, I'm tossing up one of my favorite Bernie Mack routines. Sure, its not PC. And being a SGL person of color, I should prolly take offense to Bernie referring to his little nephew as a F-G! But Hell, Fu-k It, Da Ish is FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC4ul_FYnlQ
An Appreciation
The Grand Diva!
Bea Arthur
RIP
May 13, 1922 – April 25, 2009
Television Royalty. A classy broad and extraordinary talent. One of a kind, unique. Never duplicated. Never imitated. Like Eve Arden in film, Arthur carve a niche for herself no one in television can ever follow. Her likeness sits along side Mary Tyler Moore, Lucile Ball, Carole Burnett, and fellow Golden Girls alum, Betty White. From her supporting role in the motion picture musical, MAME, to her guest appearances on the sitcom Malcolm In The Middle, I've never seen Arthur deliver a bad performance. For your 40 years of service to television comedy, I tip my hat to you Grand Dame, and most humbly say... Thank You.
A Message By George Carlin
Words Of Wisdom from a Brilliant Mind...
(Richard Pryor, Bernie Mac, Carlin, and now Bea Arthur... Heaven's definitely where I want to end up!!! )
-----------
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The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor... We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete....
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Thought Of The Day
Understand
Seek not only to know, but also to understand. In a world that is awash in information, true understanding remains a rare and precious treasure.
The knowledge and information you collect is indeed valuable. The understanding you refine from that knowledge can be priceless.
Information tells you what has happened. Understanding enables you to know what will come as a result.
Understanding gives you a clear picture of opportunities that others cannot even glimpse. The effort you put into understanding brings great value to your life and your world.
Listen, learn, question, experience, think and understand. Do the work that turns ordinary facts into golden wisdom.
Have the courage and discipline to think for yourself. And out of the raw information will come real understanding.
-- Ralph Marston
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Clutter
God Said NO
I asked God to take away my habit. God said, no. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, no. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience. God said, no. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it is not granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness. God said, no. I give you blessings; happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain. God said, no. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, no. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked God for all things, that I might enjoy life. God said, no. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me... God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
Thanks 4 sharing this with me Julie! I especially like, "I give you blessings; happiness is up to you."
We can choose happiness at any time. Its "clutter" that often distracts us from happiness. I use the term clutter purposely. No matter how we define and label our distractions, in the "mind of God" or the grand scheme of the universe, all of our issues, challenges, fears, are but clutter. According to A Course In Miracles, the only thing that's real is God and God is love, everything else is an illusion. Therefore, if it ain't God its an illusion. If it ain't love, it's an illusion. A Course In Miracle further asserts, there are only two emotions- love and fear. If we're not loving, we are oprating from fearing. A mind consumed with fear is a cluttered mind.
Clutter encompasses so very much, looking for love, loss of love, fear of love, fear of not being loved, addictions, hatreds, phobias and a multitude of isms, financial concerns, career concerns, as well demons from past, present, and anticipated. A cluttered mind is an unhappy mind preoccupied with illusions. An unhappy mind creates unhappiness. Unhappiness attracts unhappy people, places, themes and situations. A life consumed by unhappy people, places, themes and situations is the unhappy life defined. Happy people strive to face, manage, and transcend the clutter of our minds and lives. Simply put a happy mind chooses happiness. Therefore, happiness is indeed a choice.
Monday, April 27, 2009
And This 2 Shall Pass
And if you find trouble feeling happiness, I hope that Yolanda Adams inspires you. She has something to sing about hardship and our troubling times.Affirmation
"Today, I will let myself enjoy what is good. I don't have to wreck my good day or good feeling;I don't have let others spoil it either."Melody Beattie
Thought Of The Day
"All the days of the desponding and afflicted are made evil (by anxiety and foreboding), but he who has a glad heart has a continual feast (regardless of circumstances).Proverbs 15:15
Why Love Black Men?
Black men come in many forms of confidence
"I am America. I am the part you won't recognize. But get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me.”Muhammad Ali
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Thought Of The Day
All the power of the universe is within you. Feel it, know it, and then act as though it were true.
The Science of the mind
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Star Jones: Don't Call It A Comeback, Call It A Revival!!
Having experienced immediate and abundant success early on, through hard work mind you, Star Jones, experienced a series of public challenges. Weight issues, diva accusations, a wedding that became a media spectacular of- some believed questionable taste, television talk show “The View” controversy, the cancellation of her “comeback” cable series, and most recently the failure of her marriage. Through all of her challenges and in full view of haters and detractors, Star, dusted herself off and resumed this journey we call life and living.
Despite what you think of her. Whether our alliances are with her- her lifestyle, attitude, and/or politics and opinions. One can not overlooked the fact that Miss Jones’ has shown continued strength, remarkable grace and resiliency under very public scrutiny. This ability to continually self-reflect and come back in the face of her detractors has impressed me most and primarily regarding Star Jones’ story. Here’s to Miss Jones! As comedian Lonnie Love might say, “You go girl. You Go Star Jones!”
The latest reincarnation of Star happens to be her very first website, “Positively Star.” This website (thus far) has indeed focused on affirmation of personal action, collective accountability, self-esteem, self-improvement, and of course new beginnings. The website is, simply stated, positive and self-reflective. It challenges individual to be more and do more within our communities, personal lives, and current situations- life’s knots and challenges. I encourage all to support Star’s “Positive” reincarnation.
Pride! A Deeper Love!!
As May approaches and Gay Pride season begins (at least on the West Coast with Long Beach’s festival), I’ve decided to post an essay/lecture I wrote several years ago. The essay offers another take on Gay Pride and celebrations- from one Same Gender Loving Christian’s perspective. Enjoy the kick off, the season, the celebrations, and love one another. Be safe, sane, spectacular!!!!
Confessions of how a Gay Christian of Color survives Gay Pride Season
As Gay Pride season begins to descend upon us, I’ve to pose the question: is there any reason to celebrate gay pride? As a gay Christian I figured I was as good an authority as any other gay activist to deliver commentary on the issue. While my days of “we’re here we’re queer!” on the frontlines of parades and throwing red paint upon shiny white churches I deemed homophobic are a good ten years behind me, many friends still consider me quite the rebel if not radical. This is certainly up for debate; however, what I have learned is there are various ways of demanding change and go about ensuring that this change takes place. While it is quite a liberating experience to yell, “hell no we won’t go” on the steps of West Hollywood’s city hall building with about 50 other same gender loving activist, it has been an equally rewarding experience liberating my mind and developing my own individuality/purpose for the cause. It has been enormously essential incorporating my spirituality and call to social activism. This has been a long and rewarding thought process of revision, resistance, and rejuvenation.
Revisions
1. Our self-debasing, adherence to the role of victim, other, or minority! In the area of human sexuality we are all apart of the majority. As we adopt the human created notions of divided sexual orientations- heterosexual and homosexual, we perceive ourselves as divided, majority vs. minority, normal vs. abnormal, natural vs. unnatural. Division/classification is a tool of dominant groups to maintain dominance. In the area of human sexuality we are more alike than we are different and the only thing that separates us is the gender of the individual with whom we express our god given sexuality with. Let’s not forget when Moses had his encounter with the burning bush in the story of the Exodus and expressed his doubts about leading his people, what did the bush say? “tell them I am who I am’ sent you.” the first name for god in the Scriptures: I AM WHO I AM.”
1. Our self-debasing, adherence to the role of victim, other, or minority! In the area of human sexuality we are all apart of the majority. As we adopt the human created notions of divided sexual orientations- heterosexual and homosexual, we perceive ourselves as divided, majority vs. minority, normal vs. abnormal, natural vs. unnatural. Division/classification is a tool of dominant groups to maintain dominance. In the area of human sexuality we are more alike than we are different and the only thing that separates us is the gender of the individual with whom we express our god given sexuality with. Let’s not forget when Moses had his encounter with the burning bush in the story of the Exodus and expressed his doubts about leading his people, what did the bush say? “tell them I am who I am’ sent you.” the first name for god in the Scriptures: I AM WHO I AM.”
We aren’t victims. We are participants within a struggle against systematic heterosexism and dominance. As participants within this dance of dominance we must learn to lead! A friend of mine in responding to the old saying, “the meek will inherit the earth,” replied, “yes, but who among them will be bold enough to claim it?”
As people living within an oppressive society we must accept that we have the potential (and responsibility) to liberate this society from the oppressive laws and institutions that govern it. This would include the church and the church culture many gay Christians exist in (I chose the word exist fore if you’re not fully self-actualized and open, I feel, you’re not living truly.) we have to be bold enough (authoritative, assertive, assured and yes even open enough) to do it. As gay Christians, in Jesus Christ, we have the ultimate authoritative, assertive, assured and yes, even open model to inspire us. Jesus was never in the closet regarding his identity and purpose. The creative encounter with the eunuch should open the eyes of even the most conservatively blind.
2. The authority and history of our culture of dominance (read: patriarchal, white, heteronormal, and privileged) legacy of dominance by our American elite in relations with oppressed populations has been at the least problematic and at worst brutal and bloodied. If one simply glimpses our timeline of encounters one is left with a picture of bloodshed; native Americans subject to systematic culturicide and genocide; African American slaves subject to lynching, torture, whippings; women suffragettes abused (physically and sexually) and incarcerated; and the physical assaults of gays before stonewall and after, etc. history illustrates any attempt at liberation and justice of an oppressed group is met with violence and resistance from the dominant group. The same thing happened with mosses and the organized Hebrews as they attempted to flee Egypt; they were met with the violence of the pharaoh. Was the death of Jesus as a political prisoner a passive event? Rather violent I would suggest. For many Protestants this “theology of the cross” - the violent death of Jesus lifting up the social sins of his day- remains a spiritual and theological reference point.
Christians (Gay, bi, or otherwise) must rebel against this country’s legacy of dominance and resist the dogma of our society. Our Christian heritage is a history of rebellion and liberation. We must discontinue the legacy set by our elitist forefathers of using the bible as a means of enslavement and oppression.
Resist
The dominant and sub-culture that aims to define who, what, how you are
Resist the extremes of any extremist group’s “agenda.” Groups that claim to speak/know the word of god and those so beaten by the Christian right that they fight their views with rebellious spirit of Jesus Christ whom fought against traditional Christian dogma. Jesus blazed a new path and now Gay Christians must continue to follow his lead.
The dominant and sub-culture that aims to define who, what, how you are
Resist the extremes of any extremist group’s “agenda.” Groups that claim to speak/know the word of god and those so beaten by the Christian right that they fight their views with rebellious spirit of Jesus Christ whom fought against traditional Christian dogma. Jesus blazed a new path and now Gay Christians must continue to follow his lead.
However appealing a rebellious spirit may appear, question the foundation beneath that spirit. Often oppressed populations do more acting out rather than the hard work of actual action/reflection that leads to social transformation.
Shallow consumerism: an escapist driven, pleasure seeking society touches all groups regardless of ethnicity, class, cultures, and religious/spiritual affiliations of sub/dominant origin. Irresponsible (Read: exploitative, abusive, unsafe) sexual expressions cross all gender/sexual orientation lines and often manifests in celebratory events (such as Mardi gras, Spring break, sports celebrations and yes even Gay Pride events) in other words don’t get swept up in the euphoria of celebration, remain on firm ground.
Rejuvenate!
Celebrate! From an internal space that is genuine, human and divine. Remember that not only does our legacy include equal amounts of stonewall rebellion, pride festivals- past, present, future; Harvey Milk, James Baldwin, and Audre Lorde, as gay Christians our legacy also includes the “ol school” “OC” himself- the Original “Rebellious” Christ! The Christ who fought and indeed died for the liberation of humanity. We must never forget that we are indeed a part of the body of Christ.
Celebrate! From an internal space that is genuine, human and divine. Remember that not only does our legacy include equal amounts of stonewall rebellion, pride festivals- past, present, future; Harvey Milk, James Baldwin, and Audre Lorde, as gay Christians our legacy also includes the “ol school” “OC” himself- the Original “Rebellious” Christ! The Christ who fought and indeed died for the liberation of humanity. We must never forget that we are indeed a part of the body of Christ.
While Jesus was mindful of fellowship, reflection, and ritual his gatherings were done for the purpose of rejuvenation and maintaining focus- again liberation (some may argue spreading of the good news of salvation, I contend salvation and liberation as equal.) Jesus’ words are meant to be followed by action. “take and eat, take and drink” are words that come from the ultimate celebration that brings Jesus into solidarity with all oppressed groups as they seek to remain strong and united when faced with betrayal and death.
Celebrate unity within oppression yet never waver from the “good news,” liberation from oppression.
Thought Of The Day
Blessing are all around us. They are indiscriminate. They do not recognize race, gender, class, sexual orientation, finances, nor attitude. Blessings, like nature, are a part of our inheritance. They are gifts within our journey that enhances our appreciation for our journey. Blessings don’t care about our past, present, or future. They don’t care about what did or didn’t do, nor what we, shoulda, woulda, or coulda been or done done. Blessing are ever flowing, in abundance, and ours for the taking. Recognize and receive. DLC.
The above art is by Ernest E. Vernar please follow the link below for more info
The above art is by Ernest E. Vernar please follow the link below for more info
Take It Back!
Don't let the devil in any form keep your blessings from you! If Dorinda Clarke-Cole can't get yo Holy Ghost Rolling!!!?? I'll just have ta keepa keeping on looking! however, give her a peep and listen... Celebrate the mother-father God this weekend in all you do!!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO0mNMbC_h4
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Celebrating The Light
Reva attempts suicide after watching Kyle Sampson marry Maive Studdard. Kim Zimmer took home her second Emmy Award mainly based on this episode. Guiding Light Rocks! Check it out...
Happiness Is Up To You
God Said NOBy Julie Serrano
I asked God to take away my habit. God said, no. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, no. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience. God said, no. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it is not granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness. God said, no. I give you blessings; happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain. God said, no. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, no. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked God for all things, that I might enjoy life. God said, no. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me... God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
Thanks 4 sharing this with me Julie! I especially like, "I give you blessings; happiness is up to you."
We can choose happiness at any time. Its "clutter" that often distracts us from happiness. I use the term clutter purposely. No matter how we define and label our distractions, in the "mind of God" or the grand scheme of the universe, all of our issues, challenges, fears, are but clutter. According to A Course In Miracles, the only thing that's real is God and God is love, everything else is an illusion. Therefore, if it ain't God its an illusion. If it ain't love, it's an illusion. A Course In Miracle further asserts, there are only two emotions- love and fear. If we're not loving, we are oprating from fearing. A mind consumed with fear is a cluttered mind.
Clutter encompasses so very much, looking for love, loss of love, fear of love, fear of not being loved, addictions, hatreds, phobias and a multitude of isms, financial concerns, career concerns, as well demons from past, present, and anticipated. A cluttered mind is an unhappy mind preoccupied with illusions. An unhappy mind creates unhappiness. Unhappiness attracts unhappy people, places, themes and situations. A life consumed by unhappy people, places, themes and situations is the unhappy life defined. Happy people strive to face, manage, and transcend the clutter of our minds and lives. Simply put a happy mind chooses happiness. Therefore, happiness is indeed a choice.
God Helps Those...
If Dey was playing stuff like this in da club back in the day, perhaps I wouldn't 'ave been so wild! Yeah Right!!! LMAO!!! Da Ish is tight though. LOVE Jasper Street Co., Check em out...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSVkbTbwbX0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSVkbTbwbX0
Hark! The buppies are coming the buppies are coming!!!
An appreciation, tongue-in-cheek response to Trey Ellis' marvelous essay, "The New Black Aesthetic."
(Thanks Trey)
Hear ye, Hear ye, As Trey Ellis descends upon the masses within his ivory tower and bellows black blued blood buppie bruhaha. Hark the coming of the cultural mulatto! I stare at the blank white screen of my lap- determine to unleash an acid tongue rebuttal at Harvard, Oxford or wherever this preppy frat boy hails from will have to wait. Class has ended and my hostile jab has to be placed on hold.
It is time go. Catching up with my African American literature professor, I want to continue our discussion of publishing avenues for the unpublished college student. Several students are waiting outside his office so we promise to speak further on the subject- perhaps we can have brunch over the summer, I don’t know but I’ll pose the option to him.
Annoyed with Mr. Ellis and processing his essay I know I most respond somehow. But in my current state I know I would only produce further rage at the uppity negro from upper east coast.
Normally I’d go home and vent to my domestic partner but he’s in Saigon for the next 6 months no doubt trying to flip a commitment ceremony into a wedding. I try explaining to him that I commit ceremony in front of family and friends don’t constitute a gay. Somehow my execution of this point is lost in translation cause hasn’t been trying to hear this for the past 10 months- damn, we have an anniversary coming up. I don’t maybe in his country they’ll co-sign wedding where I come from, it’s a commitment ceremony.
A Work out. Good idea. But where. I could cool off by hitting the Jacuzzi at 24hrs sports club in Rancho Cucamonga. Nah I wanna lift, not chill. Bally total fitness is next door in upland. Its nearly noon and that place is sure to be packed by lunch time crowd of yuppies and mall workers. Fontana. I’ll work out in Fontana.
In the car and turning on the ignition I’m immediately met by Mary J, no offense baby girl I need to be without you. I have words for Trey Ellis and I need to gather them.
Still steamed over the idea of an upper middle class ivy league frat boy’s nerve at sweeping social commentary of the “black” experience. As if he has a class what me and boys face living in an urban ghetto. In an effort to solidify my contempt with all of my quasi-intellectual might, I summon the spirits of bell hooks, Amiri Baraka, and Michael Foucault to help shape my fight plan against Ellis and I’m met with silence. And in futile moment of desperation I even drag out the royal corpse of Richard Wright and in the presence of sir Richard I’m once again met with silence. Finally I reach for Zora Neale Hurston in an effort to express my true and only indifference to the silver spooned upstart- “Homeboy ain’t from ma hood, though!”
Ten minutes later and I’m at my home gym in Fontana. As I enter the reception area I’m met with the image of Enrique dropping it like its hot to the new Shikira and Wyclef rap, hip-hop, salsa, skaish remix hybrid thing. I’m greeted with a broad smile by Lupe. Lupe and I are very familiar with our ritual and she gets a kick out of it. “hi. How are you? She offers in her mother tongue. Followed by an eager smirk as she awaits my reply… “muy bien bien,” I offer in my pathetic Americanized attempt at her language. Enrique laughs and chimes matching lupe’s bemused enthusiastic, replies “bien bien- you speak Spanish?” “Muy pacito.” I reply. They laugh and I deadpan, Why you clowning me, though? Tossing her back with laughter, Lupe offers a mock sympathetic “Poor Rosito!“ and Within seconds and covered hip to toe in the petite Latina. Giving me a peck on the cheek, she tells me that, Jose, my personal trainer, wants to reschedule my monyana secession.
I meet with Jose, we reschedule the appointment and he lectures me about my food intake- “I know, I know- energy in/energy out. Yadda, yadda, yadda.” On my way to the locker room I’m greeted by Zaire who compliments me on how trim and cut I’m getting. He asks if I’ve gotten the 6pack that I’m determined to get before the summer, “not yet” I inform him “I’m at a 4 pack though and working on it. When I suggest he gets some sessions, he scuffs at the idea. He replies keep up the good work, the training seems to be paying off but “do ya thing dawg, some of us ain’t able.”
Changed and ready to get started, I set my ipod soon as I place the earphone Steve Tyler and his boys are extolling the virtues and hazards of living on the edge. No I’m not in an Areosmith mood. I fast forward quickly over the metal- I mean I’m annoyed not piss. I release the button and the sweet voice of Leann Womack’s I hope you dance plays- nah, way to sweet. An hour later DMX, Digiable Planets and Ja rule- early Ja not the Hip Pop Jlo crap, has gotten me through a vigorous workout and I’m ready for round two with Ellis.
I need to deal with Tre and his cultural mulatto crap but where? Have lap top will travel- Starbucks! Of course, which one? Rialto, nah way too ghetto, kids, trash, and hip-hop blurring, I need a more sooth my simmering roar against Ellis. Claremont- the village. Way too clean, sedate and sanitized. Rancho! Why not a happy middle. Back into the car I’m greeted with greeted with Ice cube- I love his new track. However my rinky dink system can’t handle the bass so all I’m really hearing is static- hmmp, Mr Tre bougize Ellis didn’t put that in his essay did he, “what he know ‘bout that!?”
10 minutes later I’m entering Starbucks, I’m met with James Blunt’s familiar falsetto screetch/croak in the background and Skyler Blue Eyes eager to take my order. Flashing the pearly whites that would make Paul Wall’s platinum coated grill appear dull in comparison, Skyler expresses how happy he is to once again see me and ask what am I working on this time- what else? African American lit as usually. He points out my regular table and I position myself to wait for a venti- triple shot vanilla cappuccino, with an extra shot of caramel, made with low fat soy.
As I wait, I ponder what exactly annoys me about the new Blunt CD that Skyler blue eyes gushes over. Not that I’m trying to hate on blunt after all he simply another chain in a long line of middle of the road, bland, elevator music pop singers to follow in the line of Norah Jones and Diana Krawl. I mean these neuvo pop purest couldn’t hold a candle to Rick Lee Jones, Kate Bush in her prime and Tori Amos at her best or even Tracy Chapman at her worse. I won’t punk the earnest pop prince and princesses by harkening back to Billie Holiday, Joan Armastrading, or Nina Simone in terms of grit and depth. An Earnest elocution and bleeding heart lyrics doesn’t necessarily add-up to style and individuality. But who am I to piss on their 15 minutes of fame, afterall its an alternative to Britney.
These thoughts are broken by Skyler’s singsong announcement of my 6 dollar buzz. Skyler bounces to the counter flashing his American Idol smile and present my buzz as blonde highlight dance before his eyes. As usually he cups and hand and softly taps my wrists as I grab hold of the pipping hot legal crack. And I think, “is he flirting with me?” gazing into the blue eyes I remember the rainbow flag key chain hanging from his back pocket and I think, maybe he is. How cute. I think wait till my boys here about this, nah, they ain’t trying to hear this- as homophobic as they are. They only put up with me ‘cause I don’t act like it.
I don’t have time for this child. I have pressing issues to take up with Mr. Tre Ellis and cultural mulatto bullshit and how this ivy leagued, elitest frat boy has the unmitigated unabashed gall to reference me, my boys, and my hood in his propaganda. Alright Tre what is this multi-cultural mulatto bullshit me and my boys are suppose to live in?
It is time go. Catching up with my African American literature professor, I want to continue our discussion of publishing avenues for the unpublished college student. Several students are waiting outside his office so we promise to speak further on the subject- perhaps we can have brunch over the summer, I don’t know but I’ll pose the option to him.
Annoyed with Mr. Ellis and processing his essay I know I most respond somehow. But in my current state I know I would only produce further rage at the uppity negro from upper east coast.
Normally I’d go home and vent to my domestic partner but he’s in Saigon for the next 6 months no doubt trying to flip a commitment ceremony into a wedding. I try explaining to him that I commit ceremony in front of family and friends don’t constitute a gay. Somehow my execution of this point is lost in translation cause hasn’t been trying to hear this for the past 10 months- damn, we have an anniversary coming up. I don’t maybe in his country they’ll co-sign wedding where I come from, it’s a commitment ceremony.
A Work out. Good idea. But where. I could cool off by hitting the Jacuzzi at 24hrs sports club in Rancho Cucamonga. Nah I wanna lift, not chill. Bally total fitness is next door in upland. Its nearly noon and that place is sure to be packed by lunch time crowd of yuppies and mall workers. Fontana. I’ll work out in Fontana.
In the car and turning on the ignition I’m immediately met by Mary J, no offense baby girl I need to be without you. I have words for Trey Ellis and I need to gather them.
Still steamed over the idea of an upper middle class ivy league frat boy’s nerve at sweeping social commentary of the “black” experience. As if he has a class what me and boys face living in an urban ghetto. In an effort to solidify my contempt with all of my quasi-intellectual might, I summon the spirits of bell hooks, Amiri Baraka, and Michael Foucault to help shape my fight plan against Ellis and I’m met with silence. And in futile moment of desperation I even drag out the royal corpse of Richard Wright and in the presence of sir Richard I’m once again met with silence. Finally I reach for Zora Neale Hurston in an effort to express my true and only indifference to the silver spooned upstart- “Homeboy ain’t from ma hood, though!”
Ten minutes later and I’m at my home gym in Fontana. As I enter the reception area I’m met with the image of Enrique dropping it like its hot to the new Shikira and Wyclef rap, hip-hop, salsa, skaish remix hybrid thing. I’m greeted with a broad smile by Lupe. Lupe and I are very familiar with our ritual and she gets a kick out of it. “hi. How are you? She offers in her mother tongue. Followed by an eager smirk as she awaits my reply… “muy bien bien,” I offer in my pathetic Americanized attempt at her language. Enrique laughs and chimes matching lupe’s bemused enthusiastic, replies “bien bien- you speak Spanish?” “Muy pacito.” I reply. They laugh and I deadpan, Why you clowning me, though? Tossing her back with laughter, Lupe offers a mock sympathetic “Poor Rosito!“ and Within seconds and covered hip to toe in the petite Latina. Giving me a peck on the cheek, she tells me that, Jose, my personal trainer, wants to reschedule my monyana secession.
I meet with Jose, we reschedule the appointment and he lectures me about my food intake- “I know, I know- energy in/energy out. Yadda, yadda, yadda.” On my way to the locker room I’m greeted by Zaire who compliments me on how trim and cut I’m getting. He asks if I’ve gotten the 6pack that I’m determined to get before the summer, “not yet” I inform him “I’m at a 4 pack though and working on it. When I suggest he gets some sessions, he scuffs at the idea. He replies keep up the good work, the training seems to be paying off but “do ya thing dawg, some of us ain’t able.”
Changed and ready to get started, I set my ipod soon as I place the earphone Steve Tyler and his boys are extolling the virtues and hazards of living on the edge. No I’m not in an Areosmith mood. I fast forward quickly over the metal- I mean I’m annoyed not piss. I release the button and the sweet voice of Leann Womack’s I hope you dance plays- nah, way to sweet. An hour later DMX, Digiable Planets and Ja rule- early Ja not the Hip Pop Jlo crap, has gotten me through a vigorous workout and I’m ready for round two with Ellis.
I need to deal with Tre and his cultural mulatto crap but where? Have lap top will travel- Starbucks! Of course, which one? Rialto, nah way too ghetto, kids, trash, and hip-hop blurring, I need a more sooth my simmering roar against Ellis. Claremont- the village. Way too clean, sedate and sanitized. Rancho! Why not a happy middle. Back into the car I’m greeted with greeted with Ice cube- I love his new track. However my rinky dink system can’t handle the bass so all I’m really hearing is static- hmmp, Mr Tre bougize Ellis didn’t put that in his essay did he, “what he know ‘bout that!?”
10 minutes later I’m entering Starbucks, I’m met with James Blunt’s familiar falsetto screetch/croak in the background and Skyler Blue Eyes eager to take my order. Flashing the pearly whites that would make Paul Wall’s platinum coated grill appear dull in comparison, Skyler expresses how happy he is to once again see me and ask what am I working on this time- what else? African American lit as usually. He points out my regular table and I position myself to wait for a venti- triple shot vanilla cappuccino, with an extra shot of caramel, made with low fat soy.
As I wait, I ponder what exactly annoys me about the new Blunt CD that Skyler blue eyes gushes over. Not that I’m trying to hate on blunt after all he simply another chain in a long line of middle of the road, bland, elevator music pop singers to follow in the line of Norah Jones and Diana Krawl. I mean these neuvo pop purest couldn’t hold a candle to Rick Lee Jones, Kate Bush in her prime and Tori Amos at her best or even Tracy Chapman at her worse. I won’t punk the earnest pop prince and princesses by harkening back to Billie Holiday, Joan Armastrading, or Nina Simone in terms of grit and depth. An Earnest elocution and bleeding heart lyrics doesn’t necessarily add-up to style and individuality. But who am I to piss on their 15 minutes of fame, afterall its an alternative to Britney.
These thoughts are broken by Skyler’s singsong announcement of my 6 dollar buzz. Skyler bounces to the counter flashing his American Idol smile and present my buzz as blonde highlight dance before his eyes. As usually he cups and hand and softly taps my wrists as I grab hold of the pipping hot legal crack. And I think, “is he flirting with me?” gazing into the blue eyes I remember the rainbow flag key chain hanging from his back pocket and I think, maybe he is. How cute. I think wait till my boys here about this, nah, they ain’t trying to hear this- as homophobic as they are. They only put up with me ‘cause I don’t act like it.
I don’t have time for this child. I have pressing issues to take up with Mr. Tre Ellis and cultural mulatto bullshit and how this ivy leagued, elitest frat boy has the unmitigated unabashed gall to reference me, my boys, and my hood in his propaganda. Alright Tre what is this multi-cultural mulatto bullshit me and my boys are suppose to live in?
Another Day Without U
That this love goes
That this heart beats
That this pain aches
That this blood flows
That life catches releases
Regrets flow
Leads disappointments
Supports despair
See
Touch
Taste
Smell
Hear
Deafening sounds
Silently Moments pass
Self centered Tears weep
Stretch long grab whole eager hold tightly
Desperation
Reach for
What could have been
Today
Today?
Today
Remember?
Remember
Remembering
Coulds envelop
Shoulds cradle
Is is and can not not
Be
Another day
Without you
I
remain
Sleep
That this heart beats
That this pain aches
That this blood flows
That life catches releases
Regrets flow
Leads disappointments
Supports despair
See
Touch
Taste
Smell
Hear
Deafening sounds
Silently Moments pass
Self centered Tears weep
Stretch long grab whole eager hold tightly
Desperation
Reach for
What could have been
Today
Today?
Today
Remember?
Remember
Remembering
Coulds envelop
Shoulds cradle
Is is and can not not
Be
Another day
Without you
I
remain
Sleep
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