Wisdom

"If you look at a half-finished house that is under construction, you don't condemn it for its unfinished condition.  You don't say it's inferior to another house, nor are you concerned with its appearance.  All you do is realize its need for additional work.  Adopt this way of thinking toward yourself.  Whatever your present condition, just realize the need for more construction.  Be patient with yourself, but firm toward the neccessary work that needs to be done."

Robert Anthony
Beyond Positive Thinking

Diet Devotional

March 17

"He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness; he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye."

Deuteronomy 32:10

It is vital that we remember how pleasing it is to God when we choose to lose weight. No matter how we look or act, God loves us, but just like earthly parents, when we do our best and look our best, we are most pleasing. God is proud of us when we sacrifice and learn self-discipline. He watches our every move, our every struggle, and He loves us. He will be with us continually. Let us follow His teachings and do all in our power to make Him proud of us; not only in our diets, but in every undertaking.

Today's thought

I am the nonfattening apple of God's eye!

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March 18

". . .I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."

2 Timothy 1:12

'You can't lose weight. You've never stuck with anything in your whole life.' Those words haunt me all the time-every time I slip and eat something I know I shouldn't. I hate it when people think I'm too weak to succeed in my diet. I hate it even more when I prove them right. Still, being ashamed of failing at my diet is often good for me. If I am ashamed enough, then it helps me stick with it the next time. God has helped me a lot to conquer negative shame. I have committed my diet to Him, and He is true to help me keep on track.

Today's thought

I'll prove to all my skeptical friends that I am capable of losing weight.

------------------------

 

"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?"

Romans 8:31

Let's not call it our diet; let's call it God's diet. No, that doesn't mean God has to lose the weight. It means that we diet because it's what God wants of us. If it's God's diet, then God will help make sure that it goes well. He will bless those who diet in His name. It may sound silly to diet for God, but, as Christians, we are called to do everything in His name. When we live our lives as an offering to God, then we let the whole world know who gives us our strength and courage. If God is for us, then nothing can stand against us.

Today's thought

Dieting for God is a joy and a comfort!

 

Diet Devotional

For our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name.

Psalm 33:21

The Psalms are a wonderful example of what it means to put trust in the Lord. David shared both his trials and his triumphs with his God. In every situation, David turned to God for guidance and support. David was a spiritual giant because he recognized the source of all that he was and could ever hope to be. We can be like David. If we will turn to God for His strength and courage in the face of our trials, He will provide for our every need. When we diet, we can rejoice in the fact that God will honor and bless our trust in Him.

Today's thought

The diet I keep will bring me joy and fulfillment!

Devotions For Dieters

Dan R. dick

Affirmation

I Am Lovable At Every Age

As a child, I was at once fascinated and repelled by old people. Their wrinkly rough faces were so different from smooth glowing cheeks. They smelled of sour milk or heavy perfume. An old smell. They couldn’t move as quickly as I could. They ran out of energy. They hated noise. Their future held only sickness and death. I swore I would never grow old.

At this unique moment in my adult life. I take the opportunity to look at both the past and the future with clear vision. As I look back at my child self, I respect the feelings I had then. Yet I see them for what they are: the perceptions of a child made through the distorted lens of childhood. As I look forward to my aged self, I respect the self I will become, the self who unashamedly wears the scares and signs of having lived a full life.

At this moment I love and respect all of what I was, am and will be. We are joined forever in a warm, loving embrace.

Wisdom

DUCK!!!!

It is amazing how many people believe they must have an appropriate response to any and every thing that goes on. They seem to measure their personal growth and spiritual acumen by the number of adverse conditions they are able to live with and move through. For some, it is a measure of their faith and trust in good and God. There is a belief that if they can love through and forgive through most dastardly deeds they will somehow be rewarded with peace and enlightenment. While this may be one path, there is a short cut- Duck!

I’ve learned to duck behind God when the crazy starts flying. There are some experiences I no longer choose to have. I accept that some people will not like me. They will not agree with me and they do not choose to see me as an enlightened being. Perhaps we have karma that must be worked out. However, I reserve my right to choose how I will participate. I choose to duck! Some people want to fight, argue, and be upset. I no longer consider it a necessity to stand with them in the midst of “conflama” (conflict laced with drama).

When family and friends know you have a spiritual outlook, they want to include you in their problem solving. We train people to come to us by always knowing what to say and what to do. Just because we can handle it, doesn’t mean we must handle it or that it is in our or their best interest to do so. Instead, we can choose to duck.

I know God is in charge! This means, I can keep my mouth shut. I need not offer affirmations or prayers. I no longer assume it is my responsibility to inspire or enlighten people who fight me. Rather, I bow out gracefully, knowing that there is a higher Mind, much more capable of working on the situation. Don’t be ashamed to duck- there are instances when it is the wisest choice to make.

Iyanla Vanzant
Science of the Mind
July 2007, vol.80 No.7

Wisdom- Essay

A Radical Panther Spits Wisdom of Revolutionary Coalitions

A Letter from Huey Newton to the Revolutionary Brothers and Sisters about the Women’s Liberation and Gay Liberation Movements

During the past few years strong movements have developed among women and among homosexuals seeking their liberation. There has been some uncertainty about how to relate to these movements.

Whatever your personal opinions and your insecurities about homosexuality and the various liberation movements among homosexuals and women (and I speak of the homosexuals and women as oppressed groups), we should try to unite with them in a revolutionary fashion. I say "whatever your insecurities are" because as we very well know, sometimes our first instinct is to want to hit a homosexual in the mouth, and want a woman to be quiet. We want to hit a homosexual in the mouth because we are afraid that we might be homosexual; and we want to hit the women or shut her up because we are afraid that she might castrate us, or take the nuts that we might not have to start with.

We must gain security in ourselves and therefore have respect and feelings for all oppressed people. We must not use the racist attitude that the White racists use against our people because they are Black and poor. Many times the poorest White person is the most racist because he is afraid that he might lose something, or discover something that he does not have. So you're some kind of a threat to him. This kind of psychology is in operation when we view oppressed people and we are angry with them because of their particular kind of behavior, or their particular kind of deviation from the established norm.

Remember, we have not established a revolutionary value system; we are only in the process of establishing it. I do not remember our ever constituting any value that said that a revolutionary must say offensive things towards homosexuals, or that a revolutionary should make sure that women do not speak out about their own particular kind of oppression. As a matter of fact, it is just the opposite: we say that we recognize the women's right to be free. We have not said much about the homosexual at all, but we must relate to the homosexual movement because it is a real thing. And I know through reading, and through my life experience and observations that homosexuals are not given freedom and liberty by anyone in the society. They might be the most oppressed people in the society.

And what made them homosexual? Perhaps it's a phenomenon that I don't understand entirely. Some people say that it is the decadence of capitalism. I don't know if that is the case; I rather doubt it. But whatever the case is, we know that homosexuality is a fact that exists, and we must understand it in its purest form: that is, a person should have the freedom to use his body in whatever way he wants.

That is not endorsing things in homosexuality that we wouldn't view as revolutionary. But there is nothing to say that a homosexual cannot also be a revolutionary. And maybe I'm now injecting some of my prejudice by saying that "even a homosexual can be a revolutionary." Quite the contrary, maybe a homosexual could be the most revolutionary.

When we have revolutionary conferences, rallies, and demonstrations, there should be full participation of the gay liberation movement and the women's liberation movement. Some groups might be more revolutionary than others. We should not use the actions of a few to say that they are all reactionary or counterrevolutionary, because they are not.

We should deal with the factions just as we deal with any other group or party that claims to be revolutionary. We should try to judge, somehow, whether they are operating in a sincere revolutionary fashion and from a really oppressed situation. (And we will grant that if they are women they are probably oppressed.) If they do things that are unrevolutionary or counterrevolutionary, then criticize that action. If we feel that the group in spirit means to be revolutionary in practice, but they make mistakes in interpretation of the revolutionary philosophy, or they do not understand the dialectics of the social forces in operation, we should criticize that and not criticize them because they are women trying to be free. And the same is true for homosexuals. We should never say a whole movement is dishonest when in fact they are trying to be honest. They are just making honest mistakes. Friends are allowed to make mistakes. The enemy is not allowed to make mistakes because his whole existence is a mistake, and we suffer from it. But the women's liberation front and gay liberation front are our friends, they are our potential allies, and we need as many allies as possible.

We should be willing to discuss the insecurities that many people have about homosexuality. When I say "insecurities," I mean the fear that they are some kind of threat to our manhood. I can understand this fear. Because of the long conditioning process which builds insecurity in the American male, homosexuality might produce certain hang-ups in us. I have hang-ups myself about male homosexuality. But on the other hand, I have no hang-up about female homosexuality. And that is a phenomenon in itself. I think it is probably because male homosexuality is a threat to me and female homosexuality is not.

We should be careful about using those terms that might turn our friends off. The terms "faggot" and "punk" should be deleted from our vocabulary, and especially we should not attach names normally designed for homosexuals to men who are enemies of the people, such as Nixon or Mitchell. Homosexuals are not enemies of the people.

We should try to form a working coalition with the gay liberation and women's liberation groups. We must always handle social forces in the most appropriate manner.

Eye Candy

This Just In!!!!

Brady Quinn Signs With The Bills!

(Nothing earth shattering, I just wanted an excuse to post his pic)

SMH!

LOL!

Diet Devotional

"Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord"

2 Corinthians 5:6

David had never been able to stick to a diet. He had tried a number of times, but nothing seemed to help him lose weight. Then he met Jennifer. She was cute, and friendly, and thin. David was suddenly more ashamed of the way he looked than he had ever been before. He began a new diet, and this one worked. David's whole personality changed. He gained a new confidence and strength of will. What we struggle with at one point becomes easy when we receive the right incentive. With God as our incentive, we can do wonders. Without God, we are helpless. With God, we can do all things.

Today's thought

I will make sure to keep God close by all day!

 Devotions for Dieters: A 365-Day Guide to a Lighter You

Dan R. Dick

Affirmation

"The key to meaningful connections with the people in your life is making yourself whole by honoring your body, mind, and spirit- filling the voids that cause you not to love yourself. You can’t give love if you don’t have it. And can’t receive love (or even perceive) it because you won’t recognize it when it shows up, you’ve got to care for yourself in order to be able to care for others."

Oprah

Wisdom

Clarity and Direction

In spite of our best efforts to work our programs and lean on God’s guidance, we sometimes don’t understand what’s going on in our life. We trust, wait, pray, listen to people, listen to ourselves, and the answer still does not come.

During those times, we need to understand that we are right where we need to be, even though that place may feel awkward and uncomfortable. Our life does have purpose and direction.

We are being changed, healed, and transformed at levels deeper than we can imagine. Good things, beyond our capacity to imagine, are being prepared and brought to us. We are being led and guided.

We can become peaceful. We do not have to act in haste or urgency just to relieve our discomfort, just to get an answer. We can wait until our mind is peaceful. We can wait for clear direction. Clarity will come. The answer will come and it will be good for us and those around us.
Melody Beattie
The Language of Letting Go

Wisdom

Duality of Perfection & Flaws Within One

=

Beauty

Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty,

Only because there is ugliness.

All can know God as good because there is evil.

Being and non-being produce each other.

The difficult is born in the easy.

Long is defined by short, the high by the low.

Before and after go along with each other.

So the sage lives openly with apparent duality

And paradoxical unity.

The sage can act without effort

And teach without words

Nurturing things without possessing them,

He works, but not for rewards;

He competes, but not for results.

When the work is done, it is forgotten

That is why it lasts forever.

Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life (Living the Wisdom of the Tao)

Dr Wayne W Dyer

Diet Devotional

March 12

'. . .The Lord is with you, while ye be with him; and if ye seek him, he will be found of you; but if ye forsake him, he will forsake you.'

2 Chronicles 15:2

In this day and age, promises are made easily and just as easily broken. We promise ourselves that we are going to lose weight, then we turn around and cheat at every possible chance. For this reason, we ought to include God in our diets. Whereas we might break promises that we make to ourselves, we stand a much better chance of keeping the promises we make to God. When we break promises to ourselves, we have no one to answer to, but when we break our promises to God, He expects us to explain. Promising God that we will lose weight makes dieting much easier.

Today's thought

I will lose weight for God's sake!

March 13

"But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil."

Proverbs 1:33

Jesus faced many terrible experiences in His lifetime. The Bible tells of many incidents where crowds of people sought to kill our Lord. Whenever the pressures got too great, Jesus withdrew and spent time in prayer. That is an important lesson for us to learn. There will be times when the pressures build up while we try to lose weight. When the pressures get too much for us to handle, we should turn to the Lord in prayer. He will comfort us, strengthen us, and give us the courage we need to face every new day.

Today's thought:

Jesus will take my mind off my diet!

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"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

Isaiah 41:10

Will the diet ever end? That question gets asked an awful lot. What starts out as a good idea soon becomes torture. Giving up seems to be such a good idea. It's at those times that we need the most strength. We need something to pull us through the really tough times. The love of God is just what we need. God will give us strength and courage and will help us fight off the temptation to quit. Call upon the Lord, and He will uphold you, He will strengthen you, He will stay with you, no matter how tough the diet gets.

Today's thought

If I can make it through the tough times, I can make it through anything!

Devotions for Dieters: A 365-Day Guide to a Lighter You

Dan R. Dick

Diet Devotional

"And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of."

Genesis 28:15

When I was little, I just hated to be alone. I was afraid of being by myself. When my family got a dog, it made my fear go away. There was never a time when I was alone again. Just having some other presence with me made a huge difference. Now that I'm grown up I still have a constant companion who will never leave me alone. That companion is God. No matter what I do, I know I am not alone in the endeavor. My diet is no exception. When I feel the most alone, I just rely on the support of the Lord, and He gives me strength beyond measure.

Today's thought

God helps us to be the best we can be!

R.I.P

A Sad End To A Troubled Life

Anyone with family and friends who struggle

with addiction perhaps understands the hope

that "they" will overcome the disease of addiction

and the challenges of life

it is always painful when

one who struggles

loses the battle

R.I.P

Lucas!

Corey Haim

1972 - 2009

Diet Devotional

Strive Toward Perfection in Everything U Do

"But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled."

1 Peter 3:14

If the example of Jesus teaches us anything, it should be that suffering is a noble and good thing when it leads to a better way. Our diets are definitely the source of suffering, but there is great blessing awaiting all who stick with them. God has promised special blessing to those who keep courage in the face of suffering and don't give in. Losing weight not only makes us look and feel better, but it draws us closer to God and His divine plan for us. Our suffering is not in vain. It is all to the glory of the Lord.

Today's thought

I will fear nothing, as long as Jesus is with me!

Wisdom

Life is a Game

Some people play the game of struggle. Some people play the game of sickness. Some people play the game of poverty. Some people play the game of being right all the time. Some people play the game of being late. But some people play the game of happiness, abundance, and health. It just helps to understand that each individual plays a game that he or she sets up, and that no one game is necessarily better than another. If the game were not bringing us some sort of a playoff, we’d stop playing.
Robert Anthony
Beyond Positive Thinking

Affirmation

My Promise

I always find joy, love, and empowerment in the process. Growth is never my enemy. Gracefully and willingly I rise to every challenge knowing that I am blossoming within each challenge and other souls eagerly await my successful arrival.

Wisdom

"Remember that the shortest way to get anywhere is to have good company traveling with you."

Wisdom

Fear

“It is the source of most of our personal pain and needless suffering in the world. It has been linked to physical maladies from ulcers to cancers. It lies at the root of greed and aggression, racism and sexism, bigotry, bad blood, and trouble between neighborhoods and nations. We fear not only for ourselves, but for our families, friends, and the world. We fear rejection and loneliness, commitment, failure, and even success. We fear that we won’t be able to measure up to the competition or the expectation of others, or even our own expectations of ourselves. We fear that we may be perceived as not smart enough, fine enough, thin enough, black enough; that our pockets aren’t deep enough, or that they are and everyone is trying to get something from us.”

Susan L. Taylor
Confirmation: The spiritual wisdom that has shaped our lives

"Thought I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me."

Psalm 138:7

I went through a terrible time when I first started dieting. Every once in awhile, I would get light-headed and my knees would buckle. It was not only embarrassing, but a bit frightening. When I spoke to the doctor about it, he told me it was just my mind playing tricks on me. He said my stomach was 'mad at me' for taking away its extra food. I didn't need as much food, but psychologically, I wanted it. I left the doctor and went out to my car to pray. Whenever I felt the light-headedness start to creep in, I asked the Lord to revive me, and He did!

Today's thought:

God is all the pick-me-up I need!

Wisdom

A Chaotic Mind Breeds Further Chaos

We believe that we perceived, what is your perception of the picture above?  I find it beautiful and spiritual and peaceful.

and you?

The Picture is neutral however our perceptions are real

“If we speak our word long enough, it becomes law in the universe. Pronounce your limitations vigorously enough and they’re yours. Whether your beliefs are true or totally insane, if you accept them, then that’s what your life will be about.”

Robert Anthony
Beyond Positive Thinking

Journal Entry

My Core Beliefs

A key ingredient I’ve overlooked lately, is the fact that the universe is neutral. Like anxiety being a new state for you, rolling with/within my emotions- validating, embracing, acknowledging, feeling them is new to me. I’ve been “vacationing” in this new wondrous and foreign land of emotions. Embracing this world of emotions to the point that I’ve “gone native” (assimilated/become complacent/adjusted). So while I’ve vacationed in/and practiced feeling my emotions and analyzing how the effect my actions, my results, my reality- I’ve forgotten that the universe is neutral and operates off of cause and effect. The universe responds to my actions. The universe doesn’t care about my co-dependency, the milk I spilt at age 3, how many graduate programs I’ve failed to complete, the universe is simply going to respond to my efforts or lack of effort. As Marianne Williamson put it, “if the sun is shining and I step out into the sun, the sun will shine on me. If Hitler stepped out into the sun, the sun will shine on Hitler. The universe is neutral.” furthermore by this law, if I decide to stay in the house because I believe I don’t deserve fresh air and sunlight, I will not receive fresh air and sunlight. The universe didn’t make that choice, I made that choice. I have to get out of the mindset of fixing my/purifying/debating/fearing if I deserve change, transformation, happiness, success and go back into the mindset and actions of making it happen- in other words, receiving! And of course, it goes without saying… thoughts/believes lead to emotions, emotions lead to actions, and our actions are the fuel which ignites and cause and effects! I simply realize it isn’t the receiving I need to work on but the core believes.

Diet Devotional

"And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear"

Isaiah 65:24

When we feel the weakest and most vulnerable, then is the time to turn to God. God knows what we are up against, even before we call upon Him. There is no one who cares more about how we feel and how we do than God does. He is our staunchest supporter. He also realizes how difficult it is to face our diets alone. He waits for us to call on Him, but He will not force Himself on us until we call. When we do call, He will act quickly to help us, since He already knows what it is we will be asking. Don't hesitate! Call on God when you need Him most.

Today's thought:

"I am never out from under Gods' watchful eye!"

Dan R. Dick

Devotions for Dieters

I can act on my Ideas

Today I can act on my ideas. My ideas are worthy of exploration and action.

The creative spirit of my inner child comes up with all sorts of good ideas. They fill my mind like a bunch of gaily colored balloons. But cutting voices from my past often come to puncture them: “You could never do that; that’s too hard. Someone else could do that much better than you can.” deflated and defeated, my good ideas disappear without a trace.

At this moment I acknowledge my creativity and my ability. I’m capable of so much more than I ever give myself credit for. Today I take pleasure in figuring out how to implement my good ideas.

Affirmations for the inner child
Rokelle Lerner

Affirmation

Pleasure Producing Relationships

Terry Cole Whittaker

All relationships can be pleasurable when we know how to generate happiness regardless of what others say and do. Love and prosperity are self-generated because we are love and prosperity. Because we are love, we do not and cannot get love from anyone, but when we are around people who like us, it is easier to be ourselves (which is love). Once we are Self-realized, we are in a constant state of love. We are being ourselves under any and all circumstances even when others dislike or disapprove of us. The main problem in relationships is the belief that we must have the approval of others and their undying devotion and commitment before we can be happy and secure enough to be ourselves without the fear of rejection, loss, or abandonment. Love is not a thing or a commodity that we must pay for or be afraid of losing. It may appear that other people are the cause of our happiness or distress, but this is not true. We are the cause of our happiness or distress.

What we want are mutually supportive relationships where each person is a winner and can bring forth the greatness that is within her or him and not feel suppressed, coerced, bad, or guilty for mistakes or successes. Souls want to have loving relationships with other souls. Most of what people experience in relationships has been based on concepts passed down from generation to generation from religion and cultural conditioning and has nothing to do with the real purpose of relationships, which is bliss. Soul-to-soul relationships are real and deeply satisfying because we can be ourselves without fear. Offering another the gift of unconditional love is the greatest gift we can give another. There are seven actions that lead to our becoming a master in the art of rewarding relationships even if, in the past, some of our relationships have been troublesome.

They are:

1. Accept that every soul, including our own, is pure goodness and perfect without flaws of any kind.

2. Assume responsibility for our own feelings and actions as well as for the results we are getting.

3. Understand that others are the cause of their own emotions and actions as well as the cause of the results they are getting.

4. Be willing for others to be happy, prosperous, and successful in their endeavors and for us to be happy, prosperous, and successful in our endeavors.

5. Treat all others with respect and honor their freedom to be, do, and have what they choose as we also honor ourselves and our freedom to be, do, and have what we choose.

6. Be kind to all living entities, speak sweet words, and seek to be a beacon of inspiration, enthusiasm, and encouragement to all.

7. Recognize that the way we are treating others is the way we are treating ourselves because what we give out is what we will get back.

The heart of the matter when it comes to successful relationships is accepting that every soul including us is pure goodness and perfect without flaws of any kind. The common approach has been to find fault in others because we believe that we ourselves are flawed and thus bad and wrong. No one likes to feel bad or not good enough to be loved and accepted so the habit of finding fault in others has made us feel at least better than others. How can we be happy in our relationships when we harbor the thought that there is something wrong with us? We often judge a person’s action toward us based on our expectations. An insecure person is in constant need of reassurance as to her worth to another and in constant anxiety over the possible loss of the relationship. Our minds will calculate the words and actions of others to mean that there is something wrong with us, and that they do not love us or else they would behave as we expect. When our self-worth is based on the opinion of another person, we set ourselves up for pain.

Even in relationships that start out well, familiarity can breed contempt when one or both of the people are not happy and then blame the other and find fault in the other person. What happened? Not even God can make us feel good all the time unless we seek out the cause of our distress, which is self-alienation. No one will ever be good enough in our minds until we know that we are good enough, that we are perfect just as we are. Once we really know this, then our actions are motivated by love and kindness. The medicine that heals the disease of “not good enough” is to bypass everything that we have heard or been taught that gave us the idea that something is wrong with us and therefore we are not good enough to be loved by God, our parents, relatives, mates, and others. This is all fear and lack-based conditioning and not true about anyone.

Once we stop judging others as not good enough and stop criticizing others in order to feel better about ourselves, the “not good enough” program running in our subconscious will fade and disappear for lack of faith. You do not need to prove anything to anyone in order for you to feel good; feel good because you are pure goodness. We are not here on earth to seek the approval of others, and we already have God’s love and approval. Accept it and forget all the soap opera stories of who did what to you and when.

About the Author
Terry Cole-Whittaker travels the world speaking to both spiritual and entrepreneurial groups. Her five bestsellers have earned her coverage in all major print, radio, and television media. She lives in Los Angeles, CA. Visit her online at http://www.terrycolewhittaker.com. Excerpted from the book Live Your Bliss ©2009 by Terry Cole-Whittaker.

Journal

Joy in Change & Transformation

The following is a response I sent to my best friend. Basically, she’s in the midst of various challenges which has made her retreat and detach. She hasn’t necessarily detached nor retreated from our friendship. She’s faced with one of life’s transitions where she’s challenged to show up fully- or she can protect herself, her inner child. And defend against vulnerability. Anyways, as I’ve stated to her, I miss my open and defenseless friend. Anyways, our communications lead to the following email. I’m putting on my blog because as I’ve stated before, this blog is a year long document of my growth and transformation. My situation with my best friend obviously brings up issues of codependency which I try to keep in check! The response is in its’ entirety, unedited. Another reason I’m placing this on the blog is that within it, I articulate quite well, where I am and where I want to be.

------------

1. I have an agenda/investment.
2. We are in totally different, if not opposite, places.

First, I have an investment in the outcome of where you are, in the sense that I feel the end of/result of your current situation will take you/us back to where we once were. Not friendship wise, but in the sense of us returning to a period where we shared/discovered/uncovered spiritual stuff with the same level of enthusiasm and wonder. Where we actually sought and absorbed- devoured the stuff with the same passion. Basically, based upon the past I (believe) I already know the end. The end in the sense that we will go back to where we were 5, 10, 15. So I that sense, I have an investment in how you approach your current situation, the length of time, the work you put in it and so forth. LMAO, I thought this was funny because usually, my attitude is (sincerely) I have no investment in your outcome, I just want you to be happy. Lol. I guess this is one time when I do actually have an investment.

That revelation lead to the second. And this is not about you. In other words, I was not judging you or in anyway frustrated trying to analyze your stuff and as a result I got insight into mine. It’s more like being where I was at the moment in relationship to us, I realized something about me. Kinda like going to the mall with you to pick up make-up, I realized I really need to get a new wardrobe! In other words, you and your need for make-up has nothing to do with my revelation. And my revelation has nothing to do with you and your need for make up. I only say this, so that as you read, you won’t be trying to figure out how our stuff relates. There is not a hidden message in this for you.

Anyways, I realized I’m at a totally opposite place of where you are in the sense that I want nothing but challenges. I am relishing that my comfort zones are being busted. That I am hyper sensitive to negativity. That I want more, more, even more Louise, Marianne, Dyer, and Srole! I want nothing more than to let both Sami Jo and scholarly/academic/in school forever Dennis shine and soar! It’s interesting, I’ve found that I have nothing really to say to my life as is. Meaning the people I’ve cultivated and nourished for the past year or more, I don’t have any real desire to engage in the same dialogues and listen and co-sign the same realities. At one point, I’m like, “ok, what’s going on?!” is this the beginning stages of burn out? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you insulating/isolating/retreating?! What’s going on?”

What I realize is, I have a lot to say and share. I simply am not in the arena to share it. Last night, and just lately really, I’ve been realizing this. It’s like I’m on this super major spiritual seeking, exploration, devouring mission explosion thing! ROTFLMAO! And it’s like ARIEL!!!!!!!!????? Kinda like you was when you were attending school and every weekend you couldn’t wait to share with me and you’d blow up my voicemails and so forth. That’s basically where I’m at- and again, this isn’t about you. So message isn’t, you should be where I’m at or that I’m angry/resentful of us not being at the same place, or me feeling alone- because I don’t feel alone at all. Actually, I feel like Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Like I’ve given myself permission to soar.

I realize I want to be joined at the hip with Srole and learn everything I need to learn about graduating and being/becoming a historian. LOL! I want to share every minuscule detail of my growth/spiritual process/journey with someone who is in the same place, I want to challenge to the 10th power my food intake/exercise, I want to (like steve Harvey at 50) push myself to my peak position and do a professional photo shoot to commemorate it. I want to embrace my 44 magnum year and do the hell out of it! I want to put away ALL the bullshit of the previous 44 years- from sleep aids to ugly complexes and inferiorities. I realize “detox” for me is really a literal/symbolic/spiritual releasing of old food patterns and an embracing of new. I realize a “40 day fast” for me is establishing new food intake patterns and behaviors and spending 40 days to incorporate and maintain them in the hopes of continuing them. I realize what we intake physically, mentally, emotionally, and who/what we allow to surround us effects us. I realize I want to be a part of the solution. I realize, despite temptation- I like being celibate and despite all of the issues, I like being married and I love my husband. I realize, I love Annie Mae. I realize, I am not conventional. I realize, I don’t know. I realize, I like being longwinded and typing out complete sentences vs. using internet slang. I realize I love knowledge, learning, studying, reading, and education. I realize, if I could make a living doing this- it would be heaven. I realize, I can make a living doing what I love- I just need to show up, trust the universe who and what the universe sends to me and allow the universe to transform me. I realize I have a lot to say, give, offer, and share. And perhaps the “new arena” hasn’t shown up- yet. I realize, regardless, I must show up and that the new “arena” (support group/system, career, friendship, mentors, STUDENTS!LOL!) are on there way- but most importantly I have to show up and stay showed-ed up! lol!

Fasting Devotional

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

Romans 8:1

Perhaps the worst part of dieting is the guilt that accompanies the desire to break from the diet at any possible moment. For some, dieting becomes a challenge to see how sneaky a person can become, but inevitably guilt creeps in and spoils everything. Dieting requires a good spirit and a hopeful outlook. We cannot expect to maintain a good state of mind when we continually condemn ourselves for our failures. We need to resolve to try harder and then forget our failings. When we can forgive and forget, we stand a much better chance of a successful diet.

Today's thought:

"Valentine's candy adds to the flesh; the Word of God is less fattening!"

Fasting Devotional

February 11

"Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."

Romans 12:21

Fat is the enemy. We have declared war, and it takes every ounce of strength we have to wage the battle. Yet, it is a battle well worth fighting. We sometimes need to look at fat as an enemy. We need to think of it as evil, in order to stay serious about battling it. If we allow ourselves to believe that it is anything less than evil, we stand in danger of learning to live with it. That can never be. It is an effrontery to the Christian life to allow evil to overcome that which is good. Rather, let us always strive to overcome what is evil with what is good.

Today's thought:

"I will not rest until the enemy has been eradicated"

February 12

"The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished."

2 Peter 2:9

I remember when I proposed to my wife, I wanted to call home and let everyone know. I called, but the line was busy. I was so excited that I just sat and kept dialing until I broke through. I must have called a hundred times before my efforts paid off. I finally got through because of persistence. Persistence is one of the most important ingredients of a successful diet. The Bible tells us often that God is pleased by our persistence, and He will reward us for it. God will deliver us, if we will keep trying no matter what happens. Just don't give up!

Today's thought:

"No matter what happens, I will keep trying to lose weight!"

February 13

"Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him."

James 1:12

What a great feeling! Kim had gone to the party dreading all the comments of her friends. When they found out she was on a diet, she knew her friends would try everything they could to get her to eat the scrumptious food that would be available. It hadn't been as bad as she thought it would be, though. Her friends had tried to tempt her, but she had resisted. It had been difficult, but now it felt great to know that she could be strong when she really needed to be. If she could resist the temptations of her friends, she could resist anything. For the first time since she started dieting, Kim began to really believe she could do it.

Today's thought:

"The Lord provides special strength for each new temptation!"

Fasting Devotional

February 10

"He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son."

Revelation 21:7

Being thin is a wonderful goal. Regaining health and vigor is also great. Looking and feeling good are important, but both pale in comparison with how good it is to please the Lord by being the best people we can be. When we diet, we not only gain physically, but also spiritually. Resisting temptation tones our spiritual being as well as dieting tones our physical being. When we reach our goal in our diet, we reach a second goal, as well: We do what is pleasing to God. When we are faithful to do the will of the Lord, we can rest assured that we have an eternal home with Him.

Today's thought:

Dieting makes me a spiritual overcomer as well as a physical overcomer

Solitude or Loneliness

“Solitude becomes a descent into the labyrinths of self, where we set up a dialogue with our own depths.”

Sue Monk Kidd, Firstlight

How do we feel when we are alone? Is the experience of solitude a precious gift where we can commune with our innermost treasures? Or do we feel lonely? Both solitude and loneliness are experiences of being along. What then accounts for the difference?

Socrates spoke of the two-in-one thinking. When we are engaged in an interior dialogue we are in the good company of ourselves. On the other hand, when we feel lonely we feel deprived of our own company and forget our connection with God. Feeling lonely can often be traced to thoughts that accentuate not having enough love, attention, or blessings.

There is a way out of loneliness. Our first inclination is to perhaps call other and fill up our time with people outside of ourselves, and there is nothing wrong with this solution. However we can still be lonely even in a crowd if we don’t go deeper to the source of the loneliness, which is our relationship with ourselves.

To heal our loneliness we must first establish a friendly relationship with ourselves, one that is supportive rather than critical. To be a friend to oneself is to listen compassionately to our feelings, offer supportive comments and be a fun companion.

Affirmation

Today I cherish the richness of my solitude. I enjoy my time alone as I realize I am in the good company of myself and God.

Rev. Sage Bennet, Ph.D.

Author of Wisdom Walk: Nine Practices for Creating Peace and Balance from the World’s Spiritual Traditions.

Fasting Devotional

"For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted."

Hebrews 2:18

When we get particularly low during our dieting times, we feel so alone and alienated. People pat us on the back and tell us they know how we feel, but we know they really don't. There are times we feel certain that no one knows how we feel. Rest assured, though, that Jesus knows how hard it is, and He wants to comfort us, especially when the going gets the toughest. If we turn to Him He will give us comfort and strength in the darkest times. He's been there before us, and He is willing to walk our path with us. When we welcome Him in, He will grant us comfort.

Today's thought:

No matter how lonely I might feel, Jesus is right beside me!

Devotions for Dieters: A 365-Day Guide to a Lighter You

Dan R. Dick

Ye Ol’ Gunslinger

As a long time NFL fan, I’ve had the privilege of watching first hand the career of Bret Farve. I’m proud to say that for most of Farve’s career I’ve hated him! I must admit, this is because I’ve been a 20+ year fan of the both the San Francisco 49ers and the Dallas Cowboys. I know, I know, how can one be both a 9ers and a Cowboys fan? Honestly whenever the team faced each other and especially in the NFC championships, it was more a dream come true than a rivalry. I’m sure you’re asking, when the 9ers and the cowboys played one another, who would I go for? Ok, ok, the 9ers. In the hey day of the 9ers and cowboys super bowls, playoffs and championships, if they weren’t facing each other- they would come face to face with Farve, Reggie White, and the Green Bay Packers and this is why I’ve hated Brett Farve for most of his NFL career. It seemed Brett and his Packers were always handing losses to my beloved 9ers and Cowboys!

During the 2009-2010 NFL season Farve transcended any team, and the game itself. Farve become a man, who proved himself a team player, leader, and role model. Entering the 2009 NFL season Farve was at worst vilified as a pariah and at best seen as a joke. He was either going to go out as a Prima Donna (not showing up for the Vikings training camp didn’t help matters) whose ego and vanity would bring down his new team. Or, he was viewed as a delusional ego maniacal old timer, seeking another chance at another super bowl ring. Worst of all, particularly for any team sport, Farve was categorized as selfish and self-centered. The bottom line, any scenario offered would ultimately lead to the Vikings’ failure, and Vikings Coach Brad Childress’ unemployment.

However, Farve brought passion to his work, his team, the Vikings organization, and indeed the game of football in 2009. He brought authority and determination. He brought a playfulness and fierce competitiveness to the sidelines and self-mocking and a mischievous wink to his television endorsements. His eyes twinkled and he leaped upon the shoulder of his team mates like a man half his age. Every Sunday with a spark in his eye and unprecedented spring and agility in his step- he brought the heat leading his young team to 13 wins (including a handing heartbreaking loss to my 9ers, some things never change!), the playoffs, and the NFC Championships. All season, Farve would repeat verbatim, “I have nothing to prove,” that statement may or may not be true, however what is true is that the old gunslinger gave us a hell of a season, a lump in my throat, and a reason to believe that one can pave one’s way, not for accolades and personal glory but for the passion of their work. As Farve often explains, his position in NFL history and it’s hall of fame is set. No, Farve gave us, what is perhaps the final ride of his brilliant career, not for personal gain, but more accurately for his love and passion for the game- his job.

A man who can bring that much passion to work? That is the mark of not only, a great football player, but a great man. Hail, hail, ye ol’ Gunslinger, all is forgiven. PS, give hell, Brett. Do not go gentle into that good night.

Practice

It’s one thing to study spirituality out of a book, or to be in a learning environment where you are being supported, where the teacher is there telling you what to do and how to do it. In a learning environment everybody in the room has the same goal, the same mindset. This is the beauty of being in a learning environment. But why do we gather information? Why do we want to learn? We learn so that we can go out and put what we know into practice.

We’re not going to practice in the classroom-that is a false environment. In the classroom you develop the skill. In the world you hone the skill. In the outside world where people can’t even spell the thing you just studied, you are going to deal with people who have no idea what you are talking about.

Does this mean that your information is faulty? Is it an accurate indication that the theories don’t work? Absolutely not! It mean that you must continue on the journey, put into practice all that you have learned. Eventually you will find yourself in a community or an experience where everybody wants to know what you know. Or where everybody knows what you know and is willing to help you facilitate further growth in it.

Do not try and convert others to your way of thinking. When you find that you are the only person in a room who thinks the way you think, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with what you do and how you do it. It means every time you meet resistance, you have another opportunity to strengthen another love muscle.

Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t question yourself. Know that the resistance is going to come up on different levels with different characters. Each time you face resistance it will evoke different feelings. Those feelings are the development of your stamina. One day very soon, the only feeling any experience will evoke is the opportunity to share, spread, give or receive love.

Iyanla Vanzant

This essay was adapted from In the Meantime published by Fireside Books.

Science of Mind: a guide for spiritual living. December 2007. Vol.80 No.12

Fasting Devotional

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

James 4:7

The earliest days of a diet are the hardest. There are times when it just seems impossible to resist the wonderful treats that appear everywhere. But resist we must. The reward comes to us when we realize that with each victory over an individual temptation, it be-comes all the easier to resist in the future. The largest part of the battle is to realize that we really can do it. The Scriptures promise us that when we resist temptation (the devil), it will flee from us, and it will trouble us no more. God never makes a promise that He won't keep. The battle's been won.

Today's thought:

There is no temptation I cannot resist!

Devotions for Dieters: A 365-Day Guide to a Lighter You

Dan R. Dick

Fasting Devotional

'But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.'

Luke 22:32

Everyone always wanted Brad on their team. He was tall and very athletic, and every team he ever played for seemed to win. There was also something about Brad that brought out the best in everyone else. It's good to have someone on our side who can swing the odds in our favor. Jesus Christ is just that Someone. He promised His disciples that He would pray for them and they could not fail in their endeavors. He prays for us, too. Jesus is always on our side, and that makes us unbeatable. As we attempt to lose weight, it is vital that we include Jesus in our plans.

Today's thought:

With Jesus on my side, temptation doesn't stand a chance!

Reminder

It is just as self-deceptive to discount what is good in us as to justify what is not. This is false humility, which is as hampering as arrogance! The purpose of examining our characters-with as much honesty and detachment as possible-is not to exaggerate guilt for what we lack, but to use the good to overcome the faults.

“Let me learn to understand myself first; that will occupy me so fully that I will have no time nor thought to analyze and criticize [others.]”

One Day at a Time in Al-Anon

Fasting Devotional

I was attracted to this daily devotional because it’s short and sweet. I am further drawn to it, as I prepare for my 40 day fast. While my fast isn’t about dieting, per se, in the sense of losing weight. My fast is about giving up and reducing negativity in my life during the 40 days of the fast. Avoiding and risking certain temptations, be it, food, gossip, television, music, people, and so forth. So while these daily devotionals are food specific, I believe they can apply to anything one wants to give up, that which one is tempted by, or simply an issue one wants to take control over.

1 Corinthians 10:13

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

There are going to be times when we feel like throwing up our hands and saying, 'I just can't do it!' Dieting is not easy. Don't let anyone tell you that it is. We wouldn't need to diet if we could eat what we wanted when we wanted it. But know this: God will make sure we can hang on, if we include Him in our diet attempts. He knows how hard it is and how much we struggle. No matter how tempted we might be, He will help us escape it.

Today's thought:

There is a way to beat every temptation!

Devotions for Dieters: A 365-Day Guide to a Lighter You
Dan R. Dick

Today I will contemplate the source of my strength

The house is quiet. My heart is not. My children lie sleeping on this hot afternoon. The blinds gently slap the windows.  Evidence of my successes hangs on the wall before me. Symbols of the love of friends lie here and there on my desk. Encouraging words are placed about where I can easily see them. Yet past successes, the love of friends and encouraging words don’t seem to help me break through the uneasiness, dissatisfaction and fear.  So I will take time out to talk to my Higher Power. I need to hand over, one by one, the things that are disturbing my peace. I give them in exchange for a new peace that can come only from meditating on the source of my strength.

Affirmations for the Inner Child

Rokelle Lerner

Fitness/Nutrition Update

The journey to detox and fasting. For the past two weeks I’ve limited my morning and afternoon food intake to water, tea, and coffee. I will have a piece of fruit and a form of grain (taste, bagel, muffin) in the morning and pretty much tea and water through the late evening. In the evening I’ve been having a very light meal. pretty much I’m doing this to gradually change my food habits and to shrink my stomach to what’s its used to holding. I’m doing this leading up to my detox and fast. I may start the detox this weekend and fast (essentially extending the detox throughout next week). Note: this isn’t the 40 day fast I’m doing prior to Easter.

The detox/fast I’m embarking on is more for detoxification purposes. My goal is that once I complete my detox, I will eat grains, fruits, and vegetables (preferably raw and organic, this would depend on what our budget is like! I’m still awaiting financial aid!) up until the period I start my 40 day fast. The 40 day fast I continue to pray and meditate on, at this point I haven’t decided what I would dedicate it to nor what I will consume. My Easter fast isn’t a water fast. It’s simply a fast where I discipline/limit myself to a certain regimented food intake plan for 40 days.

I am very active, so my fast are geared to my level of physical activity. That stated, my workout routine is coming along nicely, I’m gradually increasing my strength training and I’ve broken up my cardio- the goal is two hours, I’ve broken this up into two secessions, usually very early morning- twilight and mid to late afternoons. However, my goal is to gradually go back to 2-3hours of cardio in one secession. Of course this would be a gradual build as I embark on detoxifying and fasting and as the last day of winter (cold/flu season) are still upon us.

What a wonderful week!

Journal

A frustrating week of dis-ease. As I’ve resolved to scale down my life and evolvements, I’ve had less places to be and people to deal with but mentally I find myself just as active. This week I’ve studied The Rule of St. Benedict for my Religion of the Middle Ages class. I’ve also collected resources for my history research class- I’m a history major, btw. I had to turn in a couple of papers this week, one a three page paper on St. Benedicts rule and the other a historiography and refined thesis for my research class. These assignments weren’t easy for me. They call for an economy of writing which is not my “style” of writing. I tend to be a story teller and creative writer. I also prefer, some of you may pick up on this, stream of consciousness writing (my journaling is particularly done in a stream of consciousness style) so my writing is wordy, long winded, verbose, self-indulgent, excessive at worst. So precise/concise academic writing is a challenge to say the least! But I showed up for the task.

Monday I forced myself to gather my resources for the research class, type the citations, analyze and come up with a paragraph explaining the work and how I would use them for my overall thesis, a thesis that’s vague at best! I spent most of Tuesday properly writing my citations and constructing the historiography. The historiography is supposed to be one page, I got it in at a page and a quarter. This is a major achievement for me. I’ve been know to turn in 3-4 pages when a professor has only asked for a page! So I performed the tasks to the best of my abilities, at this point, and I turned it in- on time. Turning in paper work at its due date has also been a challenge for me. One can argue that either the content of my work is very good or I’m just one hellofva charming guy to get to the first official quarter of a graduate program with these study habits! Who knows? Alls I know is this is where I am being challenged to step up my game.

Wednesday and Thursday was all about the St Benedict paper. I’d written a very rough draft of the paper over the weekend- again, a major accomplishment so Wednesday was pretty much about constructing the paper. Thursday morning/afternoon was spent editing the paper. I actually went through the paper sentence by sentence which is something else I’ve never done before. Turned the paper in to turnitin.com and meeting my deadlines.

Completely these papers, responsibly within the guidelines, and turning them in wasn’t the only aspect of taking myself out of my comfort zone, not allowing distractions to misdirect my focus was another aspect of committing to difference choices.

Another choice I maid this week was to step down from my leadership duties of my church. I am very active in my little church. I usher on Sundays, attend standing committee meetings, my partner and I are responsible for the church’s café/snack shop on Sundays, and I conduct a fitness/nutrition program twice a week. These are simply my church duties. Also included are spousal duties and up until January, work. I’ve also had a couple of close friends from the past reenter my life, one friend going through a tough period of growth, and yet another friend with whom I’m having a strained relationship. I maintain my fitness program, as if I were maintaining life support, so I workout lifting/cardio at least 6-7 days a week on an average of two hours a day. All of the above, within this paragraph, doesn’t even involve school! And that’s the point I’m making, in the past all of the above would have alternatively overshadowed school or at least distracted me from school- especially when a brother was challenged to step his Academic writing skills up a notch! Let’s see?

Do I sit quietly, facing my inner-securities, and go over and over the same paragraph of a term paper for 20-30mins? Or do I rescue a friend in crisis, do I spend a day or three finding the proper sources for my research paper or do I just pick 2 or 3 at random, spend an all-nighter the day before the papers due, making the resources work and throwing together a paper because I chose church “responsibilities” over school? Do I sit in stillness and “just be” reading n junk, and remain still and focused as I deal with the guilt of the co-dependent who is choosing self over friends, the partner whose spouse if doing real work- manual labor, while I just stay home and read? Or do I try and fit a job into my tight academic schedule, due to ego/pride, even though it’s quite apparent (and my advisors have insisted that school must come first. And what about my background surrounded by anti-intellectualism within my church, community, the hood, the attitude of the populations I served in my prior career (community activism, program directing, and counseling), hell, even the anti-intellectualism of family, some of my friends, and definitely my spouse!!!!

How do I sit comfortably within the uncomfortable and approach graduate school unlike I’ve approached school in the past? How do I make me a priority, when as a co-dependent I’ve always made others my primary focus and responsibility? Hmmmmm? Perhaps I approach my challenges day by day, task by task, challenge by challenge? Which is what I did this week! So therefore, what a wonderful week indeed!! Score one for the hot mess of a brotha!