While mowing the lawn, I reflected, I am an adult, an adult male. I am grown. I basically grew up in this neighborhood going from young man to middle-aged married man. I am very much a part of this neighborhood as reflected in my neighbor Al’s eyes, and both older neighbor’s- Mr. Hobbes and the other old guy, Bob! LOL! They were middle aged back when I teen and post-teen wearing ripped Levis and oversized overalls backward- I’m not the only who bought into Kris Kross and Cross Colors! On the road to middle age, I’ve seen many kids/babies become young man and young women and currently I’ve watch younger kids becoming teens/young adults and babies becoming school aged. I come home from school or the gym and teens are playing streetball. I considered all of this as I mowed the lawn and I realized, I am/have been perhaps the most consistent and positive black male within my age bracket who has remained in this neighborhood- oh there are several others who have been in and out of the neighborhood for years- in and out meaning in and out of jail/prison/rehab. I realized as I mowed the lawn when the kids/children/teens watch me, I am a role model- not only as a man but as a black man, as a son, as an adult, as a partner/husband.

I am a black man consist, loving, living and alive and the community watches. I represent my gender and my race- and my sexual orientation in how I treat my mom, how I treat women in general, how I treat my home, how I conduct myself- I am seen, I am a representative whether I am alone or whether my partner and I are together- food shopping, doing laundry, washing the car, or just arriving home from work and/or school. Furthermore, how I am loving and respectful is reflected in my public interactions between my partner and me. By no stretch of the imagination am I attempting to interpret responses/reactions/actions of others. I simply acknowledge eyes are watching- small eyes and large eyes, glancing eyes, staring eyes, steady eyes, young eyes and old eyes, male eyes and female eyes, straight and gay eyes, out eyes and in eyes, eyes green, brown, hazel, black and blue eyes are watching. This reflection, these thoughts made me stand a little taller, chest poking out a bit broader, as a proud, satisfied smile crossed my face. I look forward to continuing in those old men’s foot steps. The foot steps that lead the way for me, here’s to Mr. Hobbes, Bob, and Al.